Little break in the weekly bumming schedule so that I could spend a bit of time practising the old ‘Voyeur Wank’ on a nice sandy beach whilst watching over privileged daddies girls drag their bikini clad cum troughs in and out of the sea. I’m a little out of practice in the public penis punch department, but it’s good to keep my hand in.
Arrogant, sprog spawning parents who are thoughtless enough cunts to bring the little fucktards onto a five hour flight, you know who you are.
Right from the get go let’s make one thing clear, your little angel isn’t my little angel, but I’d turn the annoying screechy little bastard into one given half a fucking chance. Not content with letting the fucking guttersnipe run up and down the aisle crashing into the ever patient huge titted air stewardess of undisclosed Eastern European origin, you are now sitting idly by, chewing the cud and forcing cunting Pringles into your gormless maw, whilst your bollock spawn, incomprehensibly screams in an endless wall of noise. Not even attempting to silence or restrain young Cunt Jr, Mommy and Daddy haven’t even got the sense to realise that they are locked into a confined environment with approximately one hundred people who are systematically running through scenarios in their heads involving the brutal, sadistic torture and murder of their shrieking progeny.
‘Hang on one minute Motherfucker. Parents should be allowed to take their children on holiday, are you saying families shouldn’t be allowed on planes?!’ Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Either ban the noisy little shit machines or put them in the hold with the rest of the fucking wildlife. Take the little cunts on a staycation or something, sail or perhaps travel by train, just don’t ever think that cramming your unreasonable, restless, fidgety, little bogie faced bastard into a flying tin can is a good idea. In fact whilst I’m on the subject OAP cunts should be forbidden from flying too, sitting next to a urine soaked Methuselah is not my idea of fun. Why do old fuckers constantly smell of piss? I’m betting this one nodded off, got awoken by the toddling banshee, thought we were crashing and let loose a golden stream in panic.
Right, whilst you’re inconsiderately stopping the rest of the planes passengers from disembarking this aeroplane of juvenile nightmares by fucking around with prams and a football teams worth of hand luggage, I’d like to do the opposite of the McCann’s and steal the fuckwit parents. I’m gonna truss you both up at one end of the runway like a pair of fucking turkeys’ with your bare arses’ dimpling in the cold air and, stick in hand, take a good long sprint at you both from the other side of the runway. ‘Look Cunt Jr! Look what I’m gonna do to Mommy and Daddy! I’m gonna bum them, bum them with this MASSIVE stick!’