This weeks’ ankle holders are likely to be a controversial choice and may even be a cause of contention. I never said bumming people with this stick was easy and sometimes I may just have to man up and make those difficult choices.
Invisible, lurking, blushingly shy readers of my blog, you know who you are.
You sit there bathed in the unnatural light projected from your computer screen, smirking and, god forbid, maybe even relishing in a tightly controlled chuckle as you read my gibberish and the comments of the brave and the bold. Terrified to leave the cosy protection of your anonymity and venture into the minefield of terror that is a blog sites comments section, you lurk there in the metaphorical shadows safe in the knowledge that you can read away to your hearts content, free of the burden of input.
Nervous fingers hover over a keyboard that quivers in anticipation as you so very nearly complete the signing up process… but no! What would I say? What if nobody likes me? What if i’m mocked? What if I just wait until tomorrow I can still read if I want can’t I?! Of course you can dear reader, in fact I’d much rather you read and didn’t comment then just fucked off completely, but I do worry about your pride and sense of self worth. I mean if you’re to nervous too talk (in a totally virtual environment mind) to a bunch of wankgrenades how will you ever cope with face to face human interactions?!
Now this may not be the best way to tempt you all out and no doubt some of the current crop of virile, cock hardening commenters’ will have something to say about me scaring off potential converts with this stick, but really examine the process going on here and I think you’ll agree that you all deserve this. Now then… touch your toes.. that’s right…pull down those tasty little cotton numbers… now use those flaccid should be typing fingers to prise it all the way open… and prepared to be bummed…With a stick…Bummed by a MASSIVE STICK.