The stick has been resting over the festive season, but I have been giving it a good old varnish and I even polished it with a touch of grapeseed oil to make sure that the years bumming starts smoothly.
Nameless, faceless, bullying policefucks of Grimsby, you know who you are.
You sit patiently, silently stalking your prey with your camera speed capture system of authority. You eagerly anticipate catching your first speeding motorists, with the intention of fucking their day right up. If an elderly gentleman takes it upon himself to warn off your intended victims, you’ll pounce like a cougar. If he dares to answer back you’ll make sure all your law abiding buddies fuck him over. That’ll teach him eh?
It will teach him that the police are a set of hapless cunts who despite the heroic actions of the many are constantly judged by the actions of the jobsworth, small minded minority.
You have cost the country, not just in cold hard cash but we have also lost a little more faith in justice, all so you could prove a point you stupid, ballless fucksacks. I don’t give a fuck if you’re wearing your uniform, I will still smash you about your helmeted head with your own police ‘beat stick’. I will then pull down your standard issue police pants and use your own cuffs to hogtie you so that your wobbly flabby arse cheeks are dimpling in the cold winter air. I am going to take a run up because I think you all need this really badly. Wince in anticipation as I prepare to bum you. With a stick. Bum you with a MASSIVE STICK.